Christmas is over. Thank God. This can be the most stressful time of year for the non rich who wind up counting out nickels and dimes just to get their step father a chia gnome. Okay, well it wasn't THAT bad by any means, but I'm happy it's done, and I'm sure Santa is relieved. Speaking of Santa, I found myself questioning the tale of the jolly ol' fella the other day....
First off, it is obviously quite impossible for a man in 31 hours, to visit approximately 90 million households delivering millions of gifts through tiny chimneys while flying around on a giant sleigh lead by twelve dashing reindeer. But let's just say he is somehow able to make this happen. Wouldn't it be just a little bit easier if the man was in shape?
Why won't Santa lose that gut? I can only imagine with all the running around he has to do, it would only make things easier not have to carry around all that weight. I'm sure those poor reindeer have been thinking the same thing for years... Those reindeer's backs must be aching for months after Christmas. Shedding some weight would also make squeezing down these tiny chimneys less of a challenge. The guy has about eleven months each year to get himself on some type of workout regiment while the elves are slaving away in the workshop. What is taking up all of his time? What is the guy doing all year? I doubt he has a day job and he clearly isn't shaving. I picture he might do some reading, probably spend some time with Mrs. Claus, I'm sure he has had at least one affair with a young female elf, maybe does a little recreational sledding, and probably watches Netflix at night, but that still leaves him with a lot of time. If I had his job, I would feel extreme pressure to be in tip top physical shape. I'd be eating right, exercising, visiting the doctor regularly and watching Rocky movies for motivation. (Flashback to Rocky VI where he is running in a few feet of snow carrying a heavy log on his back)
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