Lost my Sunglasses, what does this have to do with Jack White?

 So about two months ago I dug up this old pair of sunglasses I had.  Not just any old sunglasses, they were eh hem, Ray Bans sunglasses.  I bought them forever ago, and within the first month of owning them, a couple of the screws fell out and immediately vanished.  Yeah, just like that.  I wasn't even like, being violent with them or anything... Now anyone who has lost a screw from these things, knows that you can't get a replacement without flying out to Italy and getting them from Ray himself...so I deemed them as dead.

However, upon digging them out again,  I decided to buy some superglue and glue the actual glasses inside the frame. This played out better in my head.  What happened was, the glue oozed out and got all over the glasses and the outsides of the frame, leaving me trying to scrape the glue off with that middle part of finger nail clippers and scuffing them up.  They looked pretty rough, but fine from a distance, so success, sort of?  Long story short, I'm wearing these for a week, then I leave them at some dudes house who was a friend of a friend of a friend, and basically try to get them back, but it doesn't happen, aka this dude is probably wearing them, getting VIP access wherever he goes and "slaying mad poon-tang"(as I overheard this bro-dude say on the train once)

What does Jack White have to do with all of this?  Well, I had been over the glasses, thinking, well maybe they weren't that cool anyways, they're gone, no big deal, yadda yadda....
Then I see this pic:

Jack White at the 3rd man rolling record store in 2011, wearing the SAME glasses and looking cool as always.  Guess what? I lose, fml.  (abbrev. for fuck my life)