The Great Panty Caper

So today marks another day with no work, in which I contemplate joining a gym, but then remember I am both lazy and broke.  Following that thought process and a brief bout of depression,  I open up my laptop and search for ways to make money.  
In my tireless search (usually on craigslist), I came upon the following ad under the "gigs" section....which I found baffling, because I did not consider it a "gig", more like an afternoon activity.




Buy My Panties (NYC)

Date: 2012-07-13, 4:34PM EDT
Reply to: -----------------------------@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I'm a young, pretty girl with lots of panties to sell.

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 I had heard of this type of thing before, a young pretty girl(in the parlance of our times) in need of quick cash, figures she will exploit the sexually oppressed creepers out there by selling her used underwear for more than she paid for them new! How dare she?!  The only time I would pay money for a used pair of panties would be, a. if I had money, and b. if it were Shakira's panties that she wore during her 2 hour concert and then hand delivered to me backstage afterwards...and even still, I'd probably be real sarcastic during the transaction like, "Here's the money, yeah, congrats! you will be able eat tonight", then mutter "that makes one of us"...
Of course then she would laugh, and say in her beautiful latin accent "hey, let me buy you dinner", but being the bitter asshole that I am, I would neglect her offer in an attempt to prove something, that I am not sure what.

 (Shakira from photo shoot we did in my Manhattan penthouse)

Anyhow, here is my correspondence with the panty seller:

(below: Daily Weirdo, Panty Seller)
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Hello,

I am interested in the panties you are selling. Are they in pretty good shape?  Also, I am wondering what size they are to see if they will fit my girlfriend.

Thanks!
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Okay, actually just talked to my girlfriend, as long as they aren't too small, she can alter them to fit she says.  She is pretty tiny, so chances are they won't be too small.  She is curious on the colors and price.

Thanks!
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Okay, my girlfriend asked that I write back and tell you the colors don't matter, she is definitely interested.  How much per pair? She is looking for approximately 3 new pairs.

Thanks!
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Hi,

You do realize these are used panties right?

M
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Yes, but they are in good shape right? No rips or stains?
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Oh, and she says to tell you, she normally gets hers at thrift stores, but would feel better if she actually knew where they were coming from haha.  Also, whatever price should be fine.

Thanks!

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We are just running to the Chinese place next door to pick up our take out, so if you write back and we don't write back right away, that's why :) We will try and hurry! Then we can discuss where to meet , you can even come by if you wanted, we ordered a lot haha, if you're hungry you are totally welcome!  ...I will see if we can grab an extra fortune cookie for you too haha, they usually let us.

Thanks M!
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 Hi,

In good condition, no rips or stains. The last time I sold a pair I got $40 for them..

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Okay back!  Trying to eat my moo goo gai pan while using my laptop without spilling any haha. But anyways, my gf says they must be really nice! She is excited and wants 3 pairs.  Do you want to come here with them?  Or should we meet you somewhere?  Also, she asks if you have any that might fit her daughter, she is 11?  If not, no worries..

Thanks!
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We are just getting ready to take the little one out for some ice cream, so we will be out and about and can just meet you somewhere. Where is good for you? Mark us down for 3 pairs!


As of yet no response, but I am NOT giving up..will keep you posted.  If I were her, I'd much rather sell my panties to a nice family man who will give them to his girlfriend to wear, rather than some creep who probably will just do perverted shit with them, or flip them on ebay. But hey, I guess when there becomes a demand for my 2 year old hanes boxer briefs, I will keep that in mind.